Warrior Princesses also cry

fear & our value beyond productivity.

Illustration by Maria Hesse from her book ”El Miedo”

The trembling forest of my mind ¹

By Lorena Alvarez

Come take a trip

through the gloomy forest of my mind

lets see if you can handle it

let’s see if you don’t get scared

let’s see if you are capable

of seeing what I see

don’t look away

let’s see if you are capable of understanding what I know

Come look at the abyss

gloomy forest of my mind

look at what is below

pieces left behind from the battles

I’ve had to fight

until falling exhausted

there were times I lost

Today I’d like to recount the battles I’ve won

---

Teacher, Leader, Warrior, Poet, Care Worker. These are some of the poses I like to share with participants in my theatre of the oppressed workshops. The concept comes from Augusto Boal that theatre is a rehearsal for revolution, and embodying victory on stage invites us to look at the ways in which we can fight for justice in our lives & in our communities. And to be frank, who doesn’t want to feel extra inspiration these days? In January of this year I bought a cute green Popflex work-out dress. As I tried it on I felt activated to commence my Warrior Princess Era. In part due to real life family battles I was silently facing and also due to my my stage combat certification being up this year, as soon as I put on the wardrobe, I could imagine myself performing sword (or machate) in hand.

I was a good Astro student and looked at transits happening in 2025. It’s a mars year, I shared on IG, it will be overactive with lots aggressive energy. Wear red, go for runs, be active and in your body, go to a sauna, detox, drink mint tea!!!

And for a hot minute I was ON A ROLL!

Nine months later I’m on a call with my bestie Fernanda and she offers me these words—Warrior princesses can also cry.

You see, one thing I pride myself in, is that I’m pretty good at preparing. (I once got an award for it at a job) I’ll take a book everywhere I go, I look up directions, anticipate mine as well as others needs— but apparently this can also lead to something called BURNOUT? Don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it. After pulling a leg muscle pretty badly, a Mexican healer and acupuncturist scolded me saying, you either slow down now or prepare for surgery in the future. She told me, you need to stop carrying so much, figuratively and literally. Unfortunately you’re very very good at it and if you don’t stop carrying so much, it will have real consequences in your livelihood.

To remedy she gave me a bunch of exercises including doing daily shoulder rolls in front of the mirror and repeating, me vale madre, me vale madre, me vale madre². I told her great 👍🏼 took notes diligently and said how many times?. She laughed at the clear example of my strict self imposing regime and said, as many times as you need to

That night I explored the gloomy forest of my mind with a new perspective. It started to dawn on me; capitalism doesn’t give a shit about our bodies because it is meant to break us down: to squeeze every bit of productivity out of us. I will never write enough books, plays, perform in enough things, speak at enough events in my life to satiate capitalism’s appetite. I love it though— being needed; it’s a sick codependency we’re all prescribed to in this country. I flip the script and say: As an artist, it’s not about how much I produce, but about my responsibility to IMAGINE a world where our value is not tied to our labor, even to what we can do for others. It’s impossible for us to be warriors ready for every battle because our bodies feel the impact of everything in our communities. Sometimes warriors need to cry, process, rally.

Right now you may not know any undocumented folks but someone at your school or work might. People being denied care, fighting insurance companies, going to sleep hungry, afraid. There are plenty of causes to fight for so choose your battles and know when it’s time to go within.

To end this post I’m not gonna say Happy Halloween because every day is madness and reality is frightening, but I will say Feliz De Los Muertos. To me, every day I get the courage to step into the world as my authentic self is a triumph of my ancestors.

The revolution will be tearful, mournful, and is co-conspiring right now in our imaginations, so remember to make space for it.

Post-run pic

With love and respect,

-Anatalia

1. Translation written by Anatalia —not AI <3

2. Translation: I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a shit